The time has finally come. You prepared for months. You sat for hours taking the exam. Now it is time to get the results. 

Putting your head in your hands. The feeling in your stomach. Whispering “I didn’t pass” like it is something to be ashamed of.

Whether you failed your licensing exam, failed your PE exam, failed your TEAS exam, or any other certification exam, you should not feel embarrassed about failing a test! I truly think that the percentage of students who fail licensing and certification exams is one of the best kept secrets in the testing world. No one wants to talk about it, but if we did, you would realize that it is incredibly more common than you think it is! 

Regardless of the exam, nearly 1 in 3 candidates don't pass on their first attempt, and for repeat test-takers, pass rates can drop below 50%.

Mel failed her PE (Professional Engineer) Licensing exam 9 times. Can you imagine?
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This is what passing actually looks like from the outside. Here's what it actually takes. 

When she was sitting down to start attempt 9, her hands were shaking so much she had to use both hands to start the exam. She was already planning on when she would take attempt 10 WHILE she was in the middle of attempt 9.

The inspiration for today’s blog post is the conversation I had with Mel a couple of days ago on the one year anniversary of her 10th attempt - the attempt she passed! In the year since she passed, Mel got a promotion, sold her house, and moved. Her life had almost been on pause while she was trying to get through that exam.

Mel has a mission to “Normalize the Fail”. The stigma and the embarrassment that surrounds failing an exam needs to be reframed. Failing makes you stronger. Failing shows you where to improve. 

Shame is one of the biggest performance blockers going into a retake, and if you are embarrassed or ashamed about your prior tests, you need to deal with this before retaking the exam. Studying for hundreds of hours isn’t going to make any difference if, when you sit down to retake the exam, you haven’t worked through the shame. It's not just emotional; it's physiological. Carrying identity-level shame into a second (or third or tenth!) attempt is not in the same mental state as someone who processed the failure and came back with strategy.

The Wall-Hitter

This is the pattern I see in one of the five test-taking mindset types I work with. I affectionately refer to this type of test-taker as the wall-hitter, because that is what it can feel like. You are not the problem. Your approach to taking the test needs to be adjusted. Doing the same thing again and hoping for a different result isn't a strategy. This can be hard to hear, but you need to adjust your approach in more of a holistic way. 

The good news? The wall is not permanent. But getting through it requires more than a new study schedule. It requires three things that most test prep programs never talk about.

Separating who you are from what happened on test day.

You are not your score. A test tests how well you take a test, not how well you know the material.

You are not your attempt number. You already passed. You just need time to catch up with that truth. 

Mel is a Professional Engineer. That is who she has always been. The exam just needed time to catch up to that truth. 

When we let a test result define our identity, we carry that weight into the next room, the next attempt, the next opportunity. Identity restoration is not a motivational pep talk. It is the deliberate work of separating your worth from a single outcome. You were whole before that exam; you are whole right now.

Releasing what you have been holding.

Frustration, grief, embarrassment, pressure. These are not weaknesses. They are stored energy that your nervous system has been managing for months, maybe years. If you do not release them, they will show up on exam day whether you invite them or not. This is where emotional regulation becomes a real strategy, not just a wellness buzzword. Breathing techniques, somatic release, journaling, even just naming what you feel out loud. These are all tools that clear the stored energy so your actual knowledge has room to show up. You cannot study your way out of a nervous system in survival mode.

Building trust back, one small step at a time.

After failure, the relationship between you and the exam is broken, and like any fractured relationship, trust has to be rebuilt slowly. Not with a 10-hour study marathon and not by signing up for another attempt before you are ready. When you're 50-50 on a question during a retake, you can't be spiraling back to "I probably got something like this wrong last time, so I'll change my answer.”

Small, consistent wins will remind your brain and your body that you are capable. A practice question you got right. A concept that finally clicked. A morning where you sat down to study and did not feel panic. These moments matter, and when you start to add them up, the confidence you thought you lost starts to come back.

Mel is now asking every candidate she interviews one question: "What is one thing you have failed at?" The answer she is looking for can be as simple as baking a cake. The purpose isn’t to catch them off guard or to embarrass them. Mel knows that how someone answers that question tells you everything about how they handle adversity, how they grow, and who they are becoming.

Failing a licensing exam is not the end of your story. For a lot of people, it is the beginning of the best part.

If you recognize yourself in this post, take the free quiz at my2tor.com to find out your test-taking mindset type and what to do next.

About the Author

Tina Wiles is the founder of My2tor and a certified mental performance coach with 20+ years of experience helping students and professionals conquer high-stakes exams. She specializes in test anxiety, mindset strategy, and the belief that passing is a learnable skill. Take the free Test-Taker Mindset Quiz at my2tor.com to find out what's really holding you back and what to do about it.